When The Conversation Is Better Than Catching A Fish

What are you called if fish is the only meat you eat? Pescetarian

Us 2 hours ago:

*mirror run*

Har-old – Har+new! Har+new!!

Har+new – What is it?

Har-old – I think I’m on to something.

Har+new – Proceed.

Har-old – I’ve noticed the list of the 10 most common motives which inspire thought-action are awfully similar to Your Majesty’s (Mr. Devil) bribes.

Har+new – What does that tell you?

Har-old – Your Majesty is action-based. Results. It’s all about results.

Har+new – Go on.

Har-old – The common list of motives are just that, common. It’s ordinary for people to want these things. It’s our natural desires. It’s … life. In fact, humans use the same bribes on each other. Anyway, that’s how Your Majesty is able to destroy people with their own help without them realizing what he’s doing. And very clever work it is!

Har+new – *smiles*

18 years later during a two-day fish trip …

Son – Papa, we been out here for 4 hours, and we, well, you, you haven’t caught a single fish. Watching you fish is boring. I don’t get why you brought me out here and won’t let me fish anyways.

Har+new – Your wrist is broken.

Son – It’s not that bad. Can we just go home? I’m tired.

Har+new – Yeah, I guess it is getting pretty late. Alright, come on.

*Har+new reels in the fish-hook, a fish-hook that his son didn’t see cast in the water at the start or at no other time during the 4 hours*

Son – Dad, what’s that?!

Har+new – What?

Son – Is that some money? It is!  A. Hundred. Dollars. Whoa! This is way better than catching a fish!

Har+new – This? Oh, this just the bait I used.

Son – …

Har+new – What?

Son – You used money to bait fishes???

Har+new – *epic pause* of course.

Son – You had me sitting out here for 4 hours with a bad wrist without letting me … *starts breathing heavy* I. Am. Never. Fishing. With. You. Again.

Har+new – Son, how would you like to make 25 dollars an hour?

Son – *changes facial expression* Talk.

*Har+new hands over the 100 dollars*

Son – *surprised look on his face* For me???

Har+new – For you.

Son – These 4 hours were totally worth it!

Next day …

Son – So, dad, today, let’s stay out here for 8 hours.

Har+new – You just want 200 dollars.

Son – Hell yeah!

Har+new – Well, sorry to disappoint, but, we’re using real bait this time, good ol’ worms.

Son – Well, does this mean you gone also let me fish?

Har+new – No, you’re still not fishing. Bad wrist, remember.

25 minutes later …

Son – Why you constantly reel it in if you don’t feel weight on the hook?

Har+new – …

10 minutes later …

Son – I don’t understand why you keep doing that. Are we catching fish or worms?

Har+new – …

5 minutes later …

Har+new – I think it’s a big one!

Son – Reel it in! Reel it in!

Har+new – We got a fighter!

*Har+new reels ’em in*

Son – Whoa! Alright, dad.

*Son gets the net*

Son – Well, don’t just keep him in the water.

Har+new – We need to decide if we’re going to keep him or release him.

Son – Duh! We gone keep him. I’m starving!

*Har+new takes the hook out inflicting as little trauma as possible to the still-alive fish*

Son – What are you doing? Dad, what are you doing?!

*Har+new throws the big fish back in the waters*

Son – Are you serious???

10 minutes later …

Son – I still can not believe you did that.

Har+new – …

8 minutes later …

Har+new – Here we go again!

Son – Reel ’em in! Reel ’em in!

*Har+new reels ’em in*

Son – Whoa! Has this ever been done before???

Har+new – Isn’t ’em short for them?

Son – You caught TWO fish … at the same time! This is awesome!

*Son holds out the net*

Son – Come on, dad. Put ’em in.

Har+new – …

Son – Oh no you’re not. I know that look from 15 minutes ago.

*Har+new unhook both fish letting them splash back in the waters*

5 minutes later …

Son – …

Har+new – …

20 minutes later …

Son – …

Har+new – …

*Har+new reels in the line and checks the hook*

Har+new – YES!

Son – …

Har+new – YES!

Son – What are you yessing about? You didn’t catch a fish.

Har+new – The worm is gone!

Son – Yeah, so?

Har+new – That means a fish was able to steal the bait without getting hooked. It refused. *starts breathing heavy* It. Refused.

Son – … *turns away and says to himself* I am on the boat with a crazy person.

Har-old, when you make it, Your Majesty will play both ends against the middle (you). Therefore, maintain the balance of getting what you want from life without getting something you don’t want wrapped in the package.



P.S.  Why do people use the fish analogy with dating when it’s the stupid fish that get caught?

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