Doritos To Put “If You’re Going To Litter, Eat The Last Chip” On Bags After Animals Get Their Head Stuck

Provided by the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office

Good thing it didn’t walk into a bank! While on patrol late Saturday evening in the Florida Keys two deputies were like deer caught in headlights seeing one with its head stuck inside of a Doritos bag. “Deputy Joshua Gordon removed the bag from the deer’s head and snapped a photo of it.” Wait! That’s impossible! Unless he … . And that’s exactly what Animal Rights Activists are wondering. “Was this article written by a 12-year-old or did Deputy Gordon actually remove the bag first and thought to himself, ‘How many times do you see a deer with its head stuck inside a Doritos bag?’ and put the chip bag back over its head to take a picture not only to share online but to look like a hero.” While some are thanking Deputy Gordon for helping the deer breathe more easily again, PETA is calling for his suspension until said article is proven to be just poor wording.

Doritos has also come under fire like their Salsa Verde!

PETA is accusing Doritos for staging the whole thing. “I think they’re trying to make this their Charles Ramsey,” said PETA co-founder Alex Pacheco. “This is yet another PR story. They failed last year when some cat got stuck in a Doritos bag. And now, they’re doing it again. Animals love cheese Doritos. Okay. We get it. We saw the commercial with the goat. And I expect one soon with a poor deer. Isn’t it strange that both incidents happened in Florida? Are they trying to turn this into some sick internet meme?” Doritos CEO fired back saying, “There won’t be any future deer commercials, okay. We have a 5 year contract with that goat, alright. We’re not taking on any more animals. Especially ones that look similar. And no, we’re not giving Deputy Gordon a lifetime supply of free Doritos. And no, we’re not coming out with Doe-ritos or Deer-ritos. However, I do own domestic pets and can relate to the love one has for their animals. And after I read a quote from Becky Herrin, the sheriff’s spokeswoman, saying, “It must have wanted that last chip in the bottom of the bag,” we have decided that Doritos sold in the Florida area will have If You’re Going To Litter, Eat The Last Chip somewhere on the bag to prevent animals from sticking their heads in it when they see the bag in the street or something.”

doritos bag cat
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