Tag Archives: blog

My WordPress Blog vs My YouTube Channel

Let’s talk numbers real fast. My highest viewed post on this blog is Masturbating With Imagination, which is currently at 11,556 views. This post was published September 6, 2011. Put this up against a video I just posted yesterday. It’s at 8,176 as of writing. Just yesterday now! MWI has 8 “likes” (including myself). My video has 385 (not including myself lol). MWI has 13 comments (including my replies). My video has 53 (including my replies; deleted a few comments from others).

Let’s talk about this blog in total. Since I started back in May 2011 to now I only accumulated 117K views, most of which I’m sure are my own. My channel is currently at 735K and I just started it last October. This blog has 1,101 followers. My channel has 1,416.

I say all of that to say this, May 4, 2018, the 7th blogiversary of FY, was initially planned to be me retiring this blog. The number 7 represents completion. I posted 7 times that day. Yet I still paid another year for my domain. I will always write creatively. This is something I’ve did since I was little. However, I think it’s time to go back to pen and paper, and focus all my energy into blowing up on social media. The one thing this blog kept consistent was my writing because without it I wouldn’t have much to show on my paper. My next goal with Youtube is getting to 10K by June 5th. I don’t wanna put all my eggs in one basket; I’m plotting on doing something on Instagram and PornHub.

Today I was inspired by Haha Davis. I stumbled upon his girlfriend’s IG and recall hearing his name mentioned in a video I watched on YouTube one day. I googled him just to read his bio. I wanted to know how he came up. He didn’t have a Wikipedia page but I found his site. He was posting funny Vines and IG skits in 2013. Funny enough to get him almost 5 million followers on IG and a quarter million followers on Twitter (Vine is dead). Then I became curious about his net worth. While I didn’t get an exact figure I did get a range I fully agreed with: 100K to 1 million. I don’t follow him on social media but I love stuff like this. Those rags to riches stories. A person using a FREE platform to exploit their talents. A talent that attracts the masses. A talent that brings in the dollars. Just last week you struggled to pay your rent. Just last week your refrigerator was empty and your stomach was growling. I’ve been hungry since October and I haven’t missed a week without posting at least one video. But now it’s time to step my grind up. I did 12 videos this month. I need to do double that. Wait! How about a video everyday? That’s hustling. I need to put some of my eggs on Instagram and take over there too Incase YouTube screws me. I’m only targeting YT and IG because of the possibility of making money and because they’re high exposure.

The big diffeeence between my blog and channel is my blog is high effort and my channel is low effort. I put thought into my creative pieces. My videos are me working with the simple software and old hardware I got, and not spending time actually making anything.

The ultimate goal: Be the mastermind behind my own Game of Thrones. The mastermind behind my own Avengers.

UPDATE: the video now has 17K+ and nearly 400 likes. It’s barely 2 days.

UPDATE 2: It’s at 21k+ nearly 900 likes. Lmfao

UPDATE 3: 40K+. 1550 likes. 1,510 subs. Nearly a hundred gained since I posted this.

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My YouTube Channel just surpassed this blog in followers!!!

This blog has 1,100 followers. After hitting the thousand subscriber milestone on my channel a few days, I quickly gained another century. My count is now at 1,112. This is 6 months versus 8 years right here.

My 8th blogiversary is coming up in May. Since the 7th I’ve been contemplating retiring this blog and moving on. Now this doesn’t mean I will stop writing because writing is a part of my identity. I’ve been creatively writing since at least 3rd grade. Two reasons why I wanted to move on. One, 7 is the number of completion and in the 7 years I’ve been on here I didn’t accomplish what I set out to do back in May 2011. Two, I wanted to avoid certain people reading my work.

One of the new features of getting a thousand subs is community posts, which acts like a blog post itself. You can post a picture and write. I’m thinking about transferring my writing there.

Happy 420!!! Here’s what I wrote last year

Sidewalks of New York (Part One) 🗽🚶🏽‍♂️

I’ve been feeling melancholy lately/
I pass a thousand people on the street everyday and yet still feel isolated/
When I politely tell them they should say “excuse me” for knocking me off course/
They say “excuse me” but it’s in a very different tone of voice/
“I’m sorry” vs “you sorry”/
The only person that knows you in this big city is the one who took your wallet

I feel so alone
On the sidewalks of New York
But I feel so at home
On the sidewalks of New York
Don’t need ya taxi ride
On the sidewalks of New York
I need the exercise
On the sidewalks of New York

Resting my forehead against the train’s rattling window/
To keep from falling asleep and missing more than my stop, keys, phone, CC info/
If I wanted to be stripped I would lean over there on that big pole/
Which I’m going to do if you sit close in your trench coat/
Do you see “stupid” written across my forehead?/
“Before you transferred the word to the glass, umm, oh yeah”

I feel so alone
On the sidewalks of New York
But I feel so at home
On the sidewalks of New York
Don’t need ya taxi ride
On the sidewalks of New York
I need the exercise
On the sidewalks of New York

Got my weed from the coffee cart guy/
He wraps it up in your pretty newspaper headlines/
Do my best Stallone impression with food in my mouth/
Give me a hotdog and I can make Talia’s head turn when I Adrian shout/
I like to feed the rats my cheese pizza/
I still ate my bagel after Rachel grabbed the gap between lawyer and paralegal

My me time is all the time
Grand Central, Atlas
My me time is all the time
Delacorte, 42nd
My me time is all the time
Fifth Avenue, Williamsburgh
My me time is all the time
Metronome, Bathman’s Sidewalk burr

That’s cold man …

Computer Love <3

I typed H-E and paused by pressing the equal sign on the keyboard.

This was more than a blinking text cursor.

The other half was batting it’s eyelashes.

Was it flirting?

Flashing a lowercase L?

Or telling me I’m number one?

I pressed play by clicking the greater-than sign on the keyboard and proceeded to type A-R-T.

The word transformed into a picture of the word. It was a bigggggg heart. And I guess that’s what made the only thing move was the spinning beach ball, although, I wasn’t on the net.

Cursor stuck.

Cursing FUCK!

Freeze!

Froze.

Cold heart.

The mouse was just eating out of my palm, but now I’m jerking it back and forth like some string cheese.

It came to as I bowed over the desk and the arrow shot straight for the heart but because the cursor is tilted it missed.

Now the cursor is a small hand L gesture. What?! How am I a loser? I’m not responsible for the arrow being slanted. Hell, I don’t even shoot my gun sideways. I’ll leave that to your modern-day Robin Hoods. I wouldn’t try to attack the bottom of the heart with my pointer even with the heart looking like a bottom, if I may point out. I may cum across as anal paying attention to de-tails like that but fuck it!

Again, why should I have to rest an L on my forehead when there is already an S curled up there? Who am I? Clark Kent at The Daily Planet. If I throw up L then I gotta throw another L up. Laughing like shit ‘cause that’s like the bat-signal for you-know-who to roll on over to my cubicle, batting her eyelashes like Barbara Gordon. Aight, you keep doing that and your lashes gone get stuck in your eye, gone be blind as a bat. Aight, enough clowning around, let’s show my computer love like I-T.

We caps-locked lips. She lifted her foot off the ground. “Damn, her leg looks like an L.” My S curl became erect. Still a little crooked though.

Now the cursor is the rewind button, which is the less-than sign, neighboring the number 3.

We tilt our heads to the right when we’re trying to understand something.

“Understand?”

“Understood.”

To the beat.

This is our song. Let us have the floor, please.

20 Passive Aggressive Things I Will Do When My Boss Goes On His Honeymoon

Sorry for the wait. His car still in the parking lot. He talking to someone on the phone. Text and drive! Wait … he’s backing out! Dammit, he stopped. Another car drove behind him. Okay, he’s in reverse. Dammit. Some old guy walking behind the car. He needs the aid of some sort of standing wheelchair to walk so he’s slow to move. I hope I don’t be like that when I get old. This gonna be a while.

Okay, the coast is clear. He’s … he’s … not in front of the office no more. Let me run to the door and make sure he’s out of the parking lot. Traffic is bad. Fuck! Come on, man, you had that one! What … why is he reversing? Please don’t tell me he’s coming back to the office. Ohhh he’s finding another exit. Let me follow his car out the parking lot. He can’t see me behind this pole, right? I been losing weight. He found another exit, y’all. He’s … he’s outta here.

Big Bossman  won’t be back until Monday afternoon. I have a day and a half to …

  1. I will untuck my fucking shirt! No one can look at my ass now! That’s what the tennis tail is for. No one will see my penis print either! These not fucking 1980’s basketball shorts.
  2. I will take my fucking phone off vibrate. Y’all gone hear my Lana Del Rey ringtone and my Sherwood Forest text tone today muthafucka!
  3. Wear khakis on casual Friday. I ain’t wearing no fucking jeans today! I’m breaking the rules and finishing the week with these Classic Stones baby!
  4. Make the fucking temperature warm. I be freezing! Goosebumps all over my arm and shit! I try not to complain and just wear a jacket. Y’all act like I’m the IRS and trying to audit the  books how y’all got me in this cold ass room shawty!
  5. Turn off this got-damn elevator music, Bob! We got one floor so why am I hearing this shit? I wanna hear how Bankroll Fresh ran off on the plug today.
  6. Park in front of the office. Look! I know we in a suite and we only got two parking spaces. I know these spots for the customers and the employees need to park far away from the building. I know this. But have you seen some of them??? They need the exercise.
  7. Not tell anyone “good morning,” “going to lunch,” and “bye.” Y’all ain’t gotta know where I’m at, at all times. I will come. I will go. That little chime notification that goes off every time the door opens tells you everything you need to know.
  8. Eat a full-course meal at my desk instead of a snack. Fuck them ants!
  9. Not go to the restroom just to fart. Look! I don’t know if it’s the Taco Bell, but I burnt-burnt a lot, and I’m tired of getting up. I hold that shit in too long my stomach start growling. There have been studies that said smelling farts is good for your health. I bullshit you not! I can just lie to you and say my chair was squeaking but then I gotta convince you that smell is coming from the vents. Too much trouble. And no, I won’t stop eating Taco Bell. That AM Crunchwrap steak and Naked Egg Taco bundle fye fye!
  10. Watch something NSFW on company computers. Nah, not porn. That’s for amateurs. I wanna watch videos of what people do with their hands in driverless cars. Like … have sex!
  11. Not talk in my white people voice because they can still tell I’m black. Ain’t that’s why that white lady called me the N word over and over? Why you talking shit 3,000 miles away though? Oh, yeah, okay!
  12. Leave the lights on. Big Bossman, you gone mess up our chances at being part of a skyline one day.
  13. Leave 10 minutes early. I need to beat traffic and customers who like to come in last-minute. Talking about “I just got off work.” Shit, me too!
  14. Not let a non-customer use the restroom. Look! It’s bad enough I gotta deal with y’all leaving piss, shit, and period blood on the toilet seat.
  15. Talk into my desk-fan like a child with at least one customer. Thissssss calllll mayyyyyy beeeee monitoreddddd forrrrr qualityyyyyy controlllllll.
  16. Rub on my nipples when a customer says, “Let me speak with your manager.” Can you say that one more time, just the way you said it, just a little more slowly … and softer. Yes, yes, yasssssssssss bitch!
  17. Spin around in my chair and say wheeeeee.
  18. Walk around like I own the place. Nah, fuck that! Let’s go back to number 17. I don’t wanna walk nowhere. Everywhere I go in the office I’m pulling up in my chair, rolling. That’s why they got wheels, right???
  19. Flirt with pretty customers. If you look good in-person or if you sound good over the phone I’m giving you minimum 22 compliments. I’m shooting my shot like Westbrook! 3 for 22.
  20. Not do any work the last 2 hours and blame it on Comcast.

Happy 7th Blogiversary FY!!!

PO’EM


Don’t tilt the novel, keys open the door
Not the ones with incisors and canines
Put the candle back, keys open the door
The ones with the chopsticks and the fork tines
Now that’s how you open a got damn book
Or a library, welcome to the shhh
Quite quiet ‘nough hear a pen drop you could
Wish Stephen Hawkings was able to pick … shhh
Lightskin from Memphis, I’m a Redmayne too
And I’m the third’s child – a john to black holes
That’s why it’s Michael Myers that comes to
Instead of Jason Voorhees on the stroll
Vrin vrin vrin on thin ice skate fall run fall
Not the great one I’m the only one y’all

Happy 7th Blogiversary FY!!!