Tag Archives: goals


It’s real now. You got your gas station polo. You can realistically get down to 200 pounds in 19 days. Other than food, the only thing standing in your way of a great performance on May 27th is practice, practice, practice. And the only thing standing in your way of doing numbers is marketing. Time won’t wait.

Six-O’clock Club


Dear Har-old,

I read that Ben Franklin said that only a few men live to old age, and fewer still ever become successful who are not early risers. So I set my alarm clock an hour and a half earlier in the morning. An hour of that time I used for reading and study. Of course, I soon found myself going to bed early, but I thrived on it.

Har+new: You know what’s one of the best gifts your grandma gave you?
Har-old: What?
Har+new: Your alarm clock.
Har-old: Why?
Har+new: Because that’s all you need to be in the Six-O’clock Club. Yet the only time you’re a member is when you have work or school in the morning. Why does it take a job you hate or a class that doesn’t teach your favorite subject for you to wake your ass up in the morning? Hmm? Your last 6 times waking up (and staying up) at six has something to do with a damn job!Ā  Why is it when you don’t have nowhere to be in the morning you wake up late? 10, 12, 2 in the got-damn afternoon!
Har-old: …
Har+new: The only thing stopping you from being in the club is going to bed at 9. 10 at the latest. It’s a reason why I told you to turn off all technology an hour before bed … BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT’S KEEPING YOU UP AT NIGHT FOOL!!!
Har-old: *puts head down*
Har+new: Are you scared you’re gonna miss something by going to bed early? A phone call? A text message? A email? A tweet? A knock at the door from the naked trenchcoat girl?
Har-old: … Well
Har+new: Shut up! All you need to do is either go to bed early or wake up early. Notice I didnt say AND. Keyword OR because you will see one takes care of the other. You can’t go to bed at 9 and wake up at 2 in the got-damn afternoon. Just like you can’t wake up at 6 in the morning and go to bed in the wee hours of the night. You cannot cheap sleep. It always win. Do you need something that will get you excited about sleep?
Har-old: I need something because my sleeping patterns have been off for months.
Har+new: Lucid dreaming and your Invisible Counselors ANNNDDD your Inception soundtrack. Besides, it’s no reason to be an insomniac anymore when you already got me … your Tyler Durden.


5 Reasons Why You Should Write A “Long-term Suicide” Note

I love eating breakfast at Shoney's
I love eating breakfast at Shoney’s

Dear Har-old,

Jobs confided in Sculley that he believed he would die young, and therefore he needed to accomplish things quickly so that he would make his mark on Silicon Valley history. “We all have a short period of time on earth,” he told the Sculleys as they sat around the table that morning. “We probably only have the opportunity to do a few things really great and do them well. None of us has any idea how long we’re going to be here, nor do I, but my feeling is I’ve got to accomplish a lot of these things while I’m young.”

What is a long-term suicide note? It’s the same as a standard suicide note with the exception of being written for a future date if you don’t achieve your ultimate goal in life. Har-old, here are 5 reasons on why you should let the ink from your pen bleed:

You WILL get things done faster!

Life is unfair! But what exactly IS the most unfair thing about life? Not knowing when you’re going to die! Shoulder-shrugging to this answer causes you to think you will live forever, especially being a young person. And when you think you will live forever, you got all the time in the world to do things. You’re slow to act. Compare this to older people. They achieve more. Why? It’s not because they have more experience, wisdom, or connections. It’s because they associate their old age with being closer to death. As a result, their productivity shoots through the roof!

Helps you be present

It’s a sticky note on your mirror. One of the first questions you should ask yourself every morning is, “If today was the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?” Wednesday? No! Thursday? No! Friday? No! WTF?! You want to know why you haven’t answered yes yet? Because often times you don’t even know what you’re going to do today. That’s called STILL not planning out your entire week every Saturday morning. 4-5 hours of planning will shield you from drifting, wasting time, and doing things out of boredom. It’s funny TODAY is in the middle of PAST and FUTURE because it definitely gets sandwiched like the thin slice of meat it is. The PAST is the BOTTOM bun for a reason. The FUTURE is the TOP bun so you can remove it to check the condition of the sandwich (you). Is the meat well-done? Is the cheese melted? Is there spit on your burger? Start eating without the bread. Give the sandwich of life more meat. Make today your bitch!

Puts you in control

Did you ask to be here? Take control from your parents and kill yourself. But not now, of course! Remember when you conducted that college survey for Yeebizan? Remember what you listened to because you was shy about pitching strangers your idea? Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech! That part about death was the drive behind your fearlessness. No matter how cold the world is, you will always be naked out here. Accept death! YOU WILL DIE ONE DAY! I’m trying to turn that vague, mysterious “one day” into a clear, definite date. Remembering that day will put you in control of your fears. You’re wasting your time telling your parents you didn’t ask to be in this old cold world. Take back your control, rule the world, and go back to being a pain in the balls.

Suicide Pact

Associate with those that say, “If I don’t *insert ultimate goal* by the time I’m 50, I’m killing myself.” People say that jokingly. Well, hold them accountable! If they don’t take care of their responsibility, give them the Tyler Durden to Raymond treatment in the back of theĀ convenience store and kill them if they’re not on their way to becoming aĀ veterinarian in 6 weeks. I’m not playing!

Take advantage of your youth

Ugh! I feel like killing you right now for making me write this to begin with! I saidĀ this last October! You won’t have no youth to protect you if you keep waiting.

I don’t care what format it’s in. Read it every night if you write it. Listen to it every night if you record it. Watch it every night if you tape it.



P.S. These letters are about to get real interesting! Tags fantasy, science fiction, and movies are coming soon!



Out of frustration, you took a break from your 13 subjects and summaries. This Sunday, give them your strict attention once again. To avoid frustrating yourself again, set one goal per day in connection with that week’s subject. Most importantly, accomplish it. Things are easier said than done. For example, when you say you want patience to be your shield, it means nothing. However, when you are in a situation where your patience is being tried and you recognize it but still blunder then that’s a transgression. Conquering moments like that is the process to mastering your subjects. If moments like that don’t come to you then put yourself in them.

You know what’s funny? How the time on your hands isn’t mostly used on your purpose and your goals then when something threatens that time you panic and complain, “Now I won’t have time to … . ” You’re consistent at being inconsistent. Tyler Durden’s first rule of innovation is “No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.” What happen to being an anti-crastinator? Hmmm? You do not look like success. You do not smell like success. You do not taste like success. And, I know you do not feel like a success at this moment.Ā You needĀ to runny nose read Outwitting The DevilĀ again to fight this drifting you’re doing. You part of that 98% until you master it.