Asides

Animal Balloons (Grrr)

Hmph. You telling me you had those animal balloons since November and your first time trying to create a 3 twist dog is today, the day you’re scheduled to upload your next video?! The script was memorized, your hair was cut, the lightening was right. But the reason you’re gonna be a day late is because you can’t make a got-damn giraffe?! A got-damn swan! Oh, something you could have practiced on yesterday, Sunday, your birthday, you know, days you wasn’t doing shit anyways. When I looked at you in the mirror earlier at the gym and said “I hate you” I wasn’t trying to motivate you. I meant that, literally. Who the hell are you, now? Because even Har-old was better than this shit!

Keyboard Pillow

Has the novelty of having home internet wore off yet? Are we done watching DMX, Master P/No Limit, rap battles, and twerk videos? Are we going to change that “last logged in 11 months ago” on Codecademy anytime soon? Are we going to draw on the Bamboo tablet and post the next comic since June 2013? Where’s the logo for FY?

While you completed 3 Tax Assessments in the 4 days you had internet I am not impressed because you’re on chapter 15. What happen to chapter 14 by October 1st?

The only good this internet is responsible for in the 4 days it’s been here is saving you from making an Eyeball Marinara sandwich at Subway.

You are behind on your scripts, and your writing in general.

Isn’t that white hurting your eyes? I’m just waiting on you to fall asleep on the keyboards so I can slam the laptop on your head.

Horny & Hungry

Har-old, why are thoughts of sex and food clothed with action faster than any other idea crying for diapers in your head? We have a problem! A big fucking problem! When you’re horny, you don’t masturbate/have sex. When you’re hungry, you don’t eat. Yeah, that seems like the natural thing to do, however, when you firmly believe ejaculation affects productivity and food affects mood then transmutation becomes an acquired taste. I mean, just what if you disconnected your thoughts and actions when it came to sex and food. Say, you thought of food/sex like you normally do, but instead of acting on them you spirit your attention on the ideas you procrastinate on. Hunger and concupiscent energy are the keys to action. This can be for ANY action; not always the one that’s natural.

Another thing. Don’t try to break faith with the food affects mood and ejaculation affects productivity philosophy. Napoleon Hill is already in your head. I don’t wanna hear about the fat rich man or the billionaire playboy. They’re them and you are you! Tell me something … what does the days you’ve checked off almost or all the things on your Daily Schedule have in common?

 

 

 

 

What’s Keeping You Up At Night?

My comeback reverse self-letter touched on the same subject of the one where I where I left you. Har-old, let me tell you something. The problem isn’t staying up late. It’s what you’re doing with that time, which is virtually drifting. On the 17th you did something that is the reason I had to use “virtually” instead of “always.” You played around with iMovie from 9PM to 11PM. The beautiful part is you went straight to bed afterwards. Not to mention, you turned off your phone at 8:09PM. HAR-OLD! That’s … that’s what the hell I’m talking about. If you’re gonna take rest, much-needed sleep, from yourself, at least be doing something productive. Something that’s bringing us closer instead of drifting us apart. Just saying.

Picture People As Babies To Control Your Anger

Hey Har-old, future father of the year, you know how they say you should imagine a audience naked when giving a presentation to relieve nervousness? Well, what about when you’re mad at them, upset, angry, and your inner serial killer is inspired? I got something for you … Imagine them as babies! Children make you smile, right? Happy, huh? All playful, say? Okay, put this in practice. Next time someone tries you, picture them as kids in your mind and all that bloo bloo blah blah is really goo goo dada. Try it!

Remember you can’t control people and their actions but you can control YOU AND YOUR REACTION. React to a “grown-up” as you would to a toddler. Then they can do no wrong. You can’t go wrong. This visualization is key to mastering your emotions 🙂